In the journey to understanding ourselves and our place in the universe, we often turn to various modalities, frameworks, and spiritual teachings for guidance. Various psychological modalities and spiritual paths each offer profound insights into human experience. When woven together, they tell a cohesive story about the nature of reality, the roots of our suffering, and the path to awakening. It all begins with the concept of separation. Across spiritual traditions, separation is considered the original “fall”—the loss of unity with Source, Creator, God, or the Universe. This belief that we are separate from each other and from the divine is humanity’s anchor trauma, our very first trauma as a species. Some may recognize this story as the casting out of the Garden of Eden, while others see it as the moment consciousness fragmented. Regardless of the lens, this foundational disconnection sets the stage for the human experience of pain, longing, and striving.
The System of Self
Internal Family Systems (IFS), developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, offers a psychological perspective that aligns beautifully with this spiritual understanding. IFS teaches that who we truly are is Self—a core being that is calm, compassionate, and whole. However, as we navigate life, we develop Parts—aspects of ourselves that emerge to protect us, adapt to challenges, or manage pain.
The key insight here is that Parts exist to serve Self. They carry burdens, fears, and strategies that arise from trauma or perceived disconnection. Importantly, these burdens are not ours, because Self cannot be hurt. The pain we experience is the pain of our Parts. When we mistake ourselves for our Parts believing we are the fear, the anger, the shame—we fall into the illusion of separation. In a sense, we are living in a house of funhouse mirrors, believing distorted reflections to be real. IFS invites us to return to Self, to integrate and heal these Parts, and to awaken from the dream of separation. This healing mirrors the spiritual journey of realizing our oneness with the divine and each other.
Story Follows State
Polyvagal Theory, introduced by Dr. Stephen Porges and beautifully articulated by Deb Dana, provides another lens to understand our experience of disconnection and suffering. The theory posits that our nervous system governs how we perceive and interact with the world. When we feel safe, we operate from the ventral vagal state, which allows us to connect, communicate, and experience joy. In contrast, when we perceive threat, we shift into fight, flight, or freeze, physiological states governed by the sympathetic and dorsal vagal systems. What’s fascinating is how our mind responds to these physiological states. Dana’s principle that “story follows state” suggests that our thoughts and narratives are secondary—our body’s state determines how we interpret reality. For example, when in a state of fear, we might interpret a neutral event as threatening. Our stories arise to make sense of the sensations in our body.
Polyvagal Theory reminds us that our perception of reality is shaped by our physiology. In spiritual terms, this is another way of saying that the “dream” we live in—the stories we tell ourselves about life—is not the ultimate reality. Just as IFS teaches us to return to Self, Polyvagal Theory teaches us to regulate our state and return to safety, connection, and presence.
The Dream of Life
Spiritual traditions often echo these ideas in profound ways. Many teachings describe life as a dream state, a projection of the mind. In this view, the physical world is not the ultimate reality—it is a manifestation of the collective stories humanity has created in an attempt to understand existence. This dream began with the anchor trauma of separation and has been perpetuated through millennia by our attempts to explain it.
Religious stories, scientific paradigms, and cultural narratives are all part of this projection. They are lenses we use to make sense of the mystery of existence. While these stories can offer guidance, they also risk reinforcing the illusion of separation when taken as absolute truth.
Observing Reality into Existence
The Double-Slit Experiment, a cornerstone of quantum physics, reveals how observation shapes reality. When not observed, particles behave like waves, spreading out and existing in multiple states simultaneously. However, when observed, these particles “collapse” into a single state, as if the act of observation itself determines their behavior. This phenomenon aligns with the spiritual concept that our perceptions and focus influence the “dream” we live in. It suggests that what we think of as our physical reality is not fixed but fluid and subjective, shaped by our consciousness.
The Collective Unconscious and Shared Stories
Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious introduces the idea that humanity shares a reservoir of symbols, archetypes, and narratives that shape our individual and collective experiences. Archetypes such as the Hero, the Shadow, and the Mother reflect universal patterns of human behavior and experience. These shared elements suggest that much of what we perceive as personal is part of a larger shared dream. Jungian psychology reinforces the idea of a collective narrative that shapes how we experience the world, connecting deeply to the spiritual understanding of a unified, shared reality.
The Illusion of Separation
Eastern philosophies such as Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta teach that the physical world is an illusion, or maya, created by the mind. Liberation, or moksha, is achieved by transcending this illusion and realizing the oneness of all existence. Practices such as meditation, mindfulness, and self-inquiry help individuals move beyond identification with the ego and reconnect with their eternal Self. This understanding aligns with the process of awakening described in other frameworks, showing that true reality lies beyond the illusion of separateness.
Healing the Fragmentation of the Self
Trauma profoundly affects our sense of reality, creating patterns of hypervigilance, withdrawal, or reactivity that isolate us from others and ourselves. It reinforces the illusion of separation by disrupting our sense of safety and connection. Healing trauma through modalities like IFS, Polyvagal Theory, or somatic practices helps individuals reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and true Selves. By fostering a sense of unity and wholeness, trauma healing counters the fragmentation caused by our anchor trauma, enabling a deeper understanding of ourselves and our connection to the greater whole.
Waking Up to the Truth
The journey of healing, whether through psychological modalities or spiritual practices, is ultimately about waking up. It’s about seeing through the illusion of separation, regulating our nervous system, integrating our Parts, and reconnecting with our true nature. When we wake up, we see that the dream of separation is just that—a dream. And in its place, we find the truth of oneness, connection, and Love.
